Don't Dip the Booger-Covered Carrot

I haven't posted for a long time, so these are from quite a while ago but I don't want to not post any :)

To 2-year-old: "The carrot is not a spoon."

To 2-year-old: "Don't dip the booger-covered carrot!"

My husband to our 2-year-old: "Leave it alone. There will be times in life that you have to flush more than once, but not right now."

4-year-old: "Rubber bands are for stuff that you rubbered."

4-year-old: "I like your wiggly, jiggly tummy, Mommy." *sigh*

4-year-old talking to me:
"That happens sometimes when you get old, you get sick. How old are you, Mommy?"
"26."
"26?! I can't even count that high!"

Getting the kids ready to go somewhere: "Why are neither of you wearing pants?"

4-year-old talking about her fish:
"How do you get Nemo out to clean his bowl?"
"Well, we scoop him out and put him in another little bowl while we clean his."
"Don't scoop him out, just grab him out! Grab him by his tail!"

My sister-in-law: "What your children do to food is a tragedy."

To 2-year-old: "Don't put your pretzel on your toe."

To both kids: "No balloon dueling!"

To 2-year-old: "Don't feed Pluto!" (She was trying to feed a statue at Disney World, lol)

To 4-year-old washing her hands: "You scratched your butt hole, you need to use soap!"

To 2-year-old: "The penguin does not need to dance on my iPhone."