I Have a Nipple on My Arm

To 3-year-old:
     "Why are you kissing your own knee?"
     "It hurts!"

Talking to 3-year-old:
     "Here, Snickers! There you are, boy!"
     "Adia is not Snickers."
     "I want to pretend Adia is Snickers."
     "Well, I don't think Adia wants to pretend Adia is Snickers." [Snickers is my parents' dog].

3-year-old:
     "I have a nipple on my arm. So, I need some of your nipple cream." [She gets nipples and pimples confused, lol].

To 3-year-old:
     "Don't punch your sister in the butt!"

3-year-old:
     "Daddy, why do you have hairy feet and hairy toes?"