My husband to our 2-year-old, playing with a toy fishing pole: "You don't need to go fishing in Mommy's coffee!"
To 2-year-old: "Take off Daddy's cowboy boot!"
Talking to 2-year-old:
"Can I have it so I can fix it?"
"No!"
"Fine, you can have a one-eyed snake, then!"
4-year-old traced her little sister's hand to draw a turkey.
"Look, Adia, it's a turkey!"
"I eat it?"
To 2-year-old:
"Leave my computer alone!"
"It was Tuck."
To 2-year-old: "Your big sister is not authorized to give you candy."
My husband to me, after our 2-year-old crapped in the tub: "You take care of the little tushie, while I fish the turd out of the tub."
To 2-year-old: "Don't pick your scab just because you want a band-aid."
My husband to our 2-year-old: "Don't bite the iPad, you little weirdo."
To 2-year-old: "Well, Captain Hook, you have a turd in your butt."
My husband to our 4-year-old: "Don't get the goo out! Just eat the cookie."
To 2-year-old: "Don't step on my bladder!" Never thought I'd say that after they were born...
To 2-year-old: "The paper towels are not the Wonder Pets' bed." Paper towels off the roll and torn up, I might add. :/
To 4-year-old: "Don't use your Barbies as lightsabers!"
To 2-year-old: "Don't put your fruit snacks between your toes!"
