Just Because You Want to Play with the Toilet Paper Roll Doesn't Mean You Can Take All of the TP Off

(Overhearing 4-year-old in the bathtub with her sister)
"Scrub my butt!"
"Don't scrub your sister's butt!"

To 4-year-old, while changer her little sister's butt: "Leave your sister's poopy butt alone."

To 4-year-old who was handing a tissue to my husband: "You're old enough to throw away your own boogers."

To 2-year-old: "No, no, no! The iPad is not for your ponies to walk on!"

Talking to 2-year-old:
"I want take hand off."
"You want to take my hand off?"
"Yeah."
"It doesn't work like that, you can't just take body parts off."

My husband to our 2-year-old, whose diapers were falling off inside of her feetie jammies: "What are you, a butt magician?"

4-year-old, lifting up her little sister's jammies:
"There's a butt!"
"Of course there's a butt. It didn't fall off."

4-year-old: "We have a circus act! Come see it!"
My husband: "I knew this house was a circus..."

2-year-old: "I hurt my armpit."

To 2-year-old: "Get your face out of my butt." (No, I'm not dyslexic).

Changing 2-year-old's diaper:
"I almost lost the poop."
"I lost the poop!"
"I know you did- out of your butt."

To 2-year-old: "Take your stool back to the bathroom. Whatever you want to reach, you don't need to."

2-year-old:
"I want watch Doctor Who."
"Well, Doctor Who isn't on, you'll have to settle for Diego. Sorry to disappoint you."
I have officially nerdified my toddler :)

To 2-year-old: "Just because you want to play with the toilet paper roll, doesn't mean you can take all of the TP off."

To 2-year-old: "Don't put your carrot in your play-dough!"

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