Yesterday's Craziness

I forgot to post these yesterday, so here they are :)


To my one-year-old, while she's eating:
     "Quit poking me with the chicken!"


Three-year-old pretending to spray perfume on herself:
     "My elbows are stinky."


While both children are having issues:
     "Wait your turn, one crisis at a time!"


Conversation with my three-year-old:
     "My toe hurts"
     "Why?"
     "I got a paper cut on it."


To my one-year-old who is "stuck! stuck!" lol:
     "Why do you get yourself into those positions if you cannot get yourself out?"


Some fun with my Adia yesterday:

I eat babies...lol

Smoochies [I did the editing]

Good Afternoon

As I sit here, cup of coffee in hand, wishing I was napping with my daughter, I'm hoping you got a better night's sleep than I did. 


My 19-month-old, for some reason, thought 3 o'clock this morning was play time. She woke up, so my husband and I brought her in with us so that she wouldn't wake up her big sister, and what does she do? Lay down and go back to sleep? Nooooo...she stands up and starts dancing with her toys and squealing. Really, kid? Who the hell set your internal clock?

She's lucky she's cute.

So, we were up from about 3-5. Then, my 3-year-old got up at 6:30. *sigh*

She's lucky she's cute, too.

So, with this small amount of free time I have, I decided to share some of the older quotes I've got. So, here we go...more things we thought would never come out of our mouths:

"Don't wrap your sister up, she's not a burrito."

"I don't care if you're licking it off, you still have to go wash your hands."

"Don't hit things with your head."

"Don't head butt your sister."

"Don't smash your bread with your cup!"

"Don't rub your sister's tushie."

"Don't touch the dog's butt hole!"

"Don't knock on your sister's head."

"Don't put the spoon in your butt."

"The horse does not need panties."

"Do not stomp on the toilet paper."

"Don't eat the cactus."

"Underwear are not an option."

"Don't dance while you eat, you might choke."

"Don't throw your cinnamon twist over your shoulder, it's not salt."

"Stop trying to climb me!"

"Stop it, you're going to poop your pants."

"I am not going to eat your butt fish."

"Don't spit on your sister."

"Don't hit your head on the window."

"Don't hit your sister with the tiger's tail."

"Don't squeeze your sister's cheeks."

"Pants first, then you can have mints."

"Don't fart on your sister."

"Just because the shampoo smells good, doesn't mean it tastes good."

"Stop hitting yourself on the head with the hammer."

"That's for butts, not faces."

To my 1-year-old:

     "Don't run off with my iPod. Hey! Bring that back!"

Quotes of the Day 4/23-4/24/2011

I didn't have a chance to get these up over the weekend, with the holiday and all. It was a very busy weekend for us! Three egg hunts, presents, and a busy day with family! It was a fun weekend. I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend, as well. Now, on to the funnies of the weekend!


4/23


To 3 year old, as she and her 1 year old sister are playing in their new sand box: 
     "Don't bury your sister in sand!"


To 3 year old as she's squeezing her little sister's cheeks:
     "Don't squeeze other people's cheeks."


To 3 year old as she's aggressively "hugging" her little sister:
     "Don't squeeze your sister!"


4/24


Conversation between my 3 year old and my husband, after she saw one of our wedding pictures:
     "Daddy, did you know you married Mommy?"
     "Yep...I am aware..."

Quotes of the Day 4/22/2011

Talking to my 3 year old in the tub:
     "Get your face out of the water."
     "I love to drink butt water."


Aaaaand the one that melted my heart <3:
     (Walking in really strong wind): "Your little sister almost blew away!"
     (Big sister): "I would cry forever and ever!"

Quotes of the day 4/21/2011

(To my 3 year old): "Get your pants off your head!"


(Big sister to little sister): "You little boobie."


Conversation with my 3 year old:
     "Do boys have eyelashes?"
     "Yes."
     "But girls have eyelashes, not boys."
     "Yes, they do."
     "But they're not girls!"


Aaaaand the winner of the day is: 
     (Looking at a bug in the window): "You little bug, you're going DOWN!"

I'm Successfully Geekifying My Kids

So, my one year old is wearing a Star Trek shirt [my husband bought it for her]. It has the little Star Trek symbol on it and, as if her wearing it isn't nerdy enough, my 3 year old looks at her and says "I like your Star Trek shirt." Yep. My 3 year old recognizes the Star Trek symbol. She also recognizes the MythBusters, Doctor Who [pretty much everything about it...the TARDIS, the Doctors, Daleks, you get the picture...], Star Wars [especially Yoda], Harry Potter, World of Warcraft, and the entire Mario crew. My 19 month old is getting there. She saw a picture of David Tennant on my computer a while back and she pointed at it and said "Doctor!" lol, I love my kids.

More odd things we have said to our kids...

"Threatening people with spaghetti is generally not a good idea."
"Get your finger out of my nose!"
"My hair is not reins."
"You are not your sister's grandma."
"Don't hit your sister with the spoon."
"I am not a slide."
"Crackers are not a squeezable food."
"You cannot go outside in your underwear and Daddy's combat boots."
"You don't need to 'stir' your sister."
"You don't need to eat toilet paper!"
(Playing with flashlight) "Don't shine that at people." (Shines it at her baby sister) "Your sister is a people."
"Don't just eat the butter. Eat the waffle."
"Don't drive on your sister."
"Don't smack me with a saxophone!"
"Potato chips are not a breakfast food."
"After you poop, you have to wipe your butt. You can't just pull up your panties and go."
"You cannot pick other people's noses."
"Don't get so upset with chicken in your mouth!"
(Baby steals my pen, the day after she learns to walk, and tries to toddle off with it) "If you're gonna start a life of crime, you better learn to walk faster."
"Magazine are for reading, not eating."
"Don't lick your pickle. It's not a popsicle."
"Why is there a sandwich on the bathroom counter?"
"Your toy nose does not need to walk."
"Don't squeeze it, eat it."
"Don't throw tuna at me!"
"Don't shake your tuna sandwich."
(Trying to comb her hair) "Sit still or you're gonna look like Elvis."
"How does pooping remind one to take their vitamin?"
"Don't giggle at it, just eat it."
"Why is there rice in your hair?"
"Get your hand out of your butt crack."

Random Quotes 4/17/2011

More things we never thought would come out of our mouths taken from the website. I'm trying to eventually get them all on here.


(My husband, talking about our baby with reflux): "Bibs are no longer worth it. We just need to start putting a rain coat on her!"
(My husband, while feeding the baby): "Ah! Freakin' baby food in the eye!"


More quotes said to our children:


"She's not a toy, she's your sister."
(Talking to the baby): "You're starting to get real people hair, not some crazy comb-over!"
"How did you fall off the toilet??"
(Cleaning up after dinner): "I'm not the one who got barbecue sauce on my boob, hold still."
"Leave your nipples alone!"
(My husband, to our daughter, while helping me with laundry): "I'm gonna tell your boyfriends I used to hang your skid-marked panties out to dry."
"Don't flash people."
"You're not a parrot, get off of your mommy's shoulder."
"You can't get into the bathtub with your underwear on!"
"How did you get ice cream on the back of your shirt?!"
"Get back in the cart and quit poking the cat food!"
"Don't play with your food with your toes!"
(To baby): "Well, I'm sorry. If you didn't have so many chins, I wouldn't have to scrub under there."
"Yes, I know the fishy is cute. Now put your panties on."
"No! Don't make your sister into a 'present'!"
"Get your toes out of my mouth!"
(My husband, feeding the baby): "Please don't make a mess." (Baby pukes all over him).
"Don't run over your sister!"
"Butter is not a dip."
"You don't need more butter than there is bread."
"Don't build a tower with baby food."
"Please don't gag yourself with the spoon."

What's this doing there?!

I'm not sure if it's meant to annoy me or out of honest confusion, but my kids seem to think taking my bookmark out of my books is absolutely necessary. Either they think it's funny, they are annoyed by my reading and want me to stop, or they're wondering why there is a little piece of paper in Mommy's book and feel that they are helping me by removing it. Whatever the reasoning in their 3 and 1 year old minds, it's annoying. Luckily, I'm only a few pages into this book, so it is easy to find my place at the moment. Slightly more annoying when I'm halfway through the book. 

Quotes of the Day 4/16/2011

My first daily post :) If anything funny happens that I remember to write down, I will be making daily posts about them :)


"The corn dog does not need to dance. Just eat it."


"Get your foot off of my face!"

What Will You Be Reading?

I will mostly be writing quotes that either my husband or myself have said to our kids, or silly things our kids have said. If I have a fun story to share, I will do that as well :) I will be posting quite a few at first, to catch up with what is already on the previous website. Here are a few to start off with :)


Things said to our kids:


"Get your head out of the toilet!"
"Don't smack your sister with the fish!"
"Don't fart on people, it's not nice."
"Get your foot out of your sister's mouth!"
"Don't put your sister in a cage!"
"You cannot ride your little sister."
"Your sister is not a car."
"Must we shart in public?"
"Don't roll your sister!"
"Don't kick your apple, it's not a toy."
"Get the football out of your sister's butt!"
"You don't need to strip your sister!"
"Why are you naked?"


That's just the beginning...much more to come :)

Beginning

This all started when I was just beginning to potty train our oldest daughter. I was grabbing her potty seat and when I turned around she was looking in the toilet, so I said "get your head out of the toilet," and laughed afterward thinking, 'those are words I never expected to come out of my mouth.' I posted this on my Facebook status and everyone got a good laugh out of it. I continued posting strange phrases I said to my children and my husband told me I should start a website about all the silly things our children do. He came up with the name when he jokingly said "parenting is so glamorous" one time when our baby with reflux threw up all over him. From there Parenting is Glamorous was born. I love sharing our strange, yet memorable moments with all of you and I enjoy hearing stories about your adventures as well. Thanks for reading! 


You can also find me at www.parentingisglamorous.com