Quit Playing with the Trash Can

4-year-old:
"I'm tired so, I need some olives."
"What does being tired have to do with olives?"
*blushes* "Oh, I meant hungry."

To 2-year-old who took her diaper off while playing 'parade.': "Excuse me, you can't march in a parade with a naked tushie."

To 2-year-old: "No hammers in bed."

To 4-year-old: "You're the only person I know that's ticklish on their face."

About 2-year-old dressed up for Halloween: "Cinderella pooped her pants."

To 2-year-old: "Just because you are mad doesn't mean you can move furniture around!"

To 2-year-old:
*Sniff* "Did you poop?"
"No, Papa."
"Don't be blaming your smell on Papa, he's not even here!"

*My husband farts*
4-year-old: *giggle* "It sounds like a musical instrument!"

To 2-year-old: "Get your sister's dirty panties off your head. Ew."

2-year-old, with Daddy's boot sock on her hand: "Fishing pole!"

To 2-year-old stepping on the trash can pedal, opening and closing it: "Quit playing with the trash can and sit down and eat."

To 2-year-old: "Don't beat Elmo up."

To 4-year-old: Why do you have a tea pot in your bed?"