Goodbye, My Furbabies

Disclaimer: May cause tears.

I haven't been writing lately because I just haven't had the inspiration. I've been going through a rough time. [I have, however, been designing like crazy to keep my mind occupied. You can check them out here, if you would like].

The reason for this may seem silly to some, but to anyone who has ever had a pet, my sadness is completely rational. 

Monday, I said goodbye to the last of my sweet puppies I had growing up. I had three, Patch [a Boston Terrier], Corky, and Mickie [both Pugs]. 

Corky died in March of 2006 to cancer. We had to have her put to sleep, she was suffering badly. I was there for it, it is something I will never forget. Watching the life leave a sweet, faithful friend I had grown up with since I was a child. 

I was in the Army from July 2003 - February 2006. I moved back home with my parents until my husband [fiance at the time] completed the military training class he was in. I was very glad I did. I'm glad that I got to spend time with and be there for Corky before she died, even if it was only a month. We both needed that time.


Patch died on December 20, 2006 to complications during surgery. He was blind, and got a scratch or something on his eye, which became severely infected. The day he died was my mom's birthday. Patch was "her" dog. Her birthday is still a hard day for her. 

Again, I had moved away, but moved back in November 2006. I only had a month with Patch, as well, before he died, but I was grateful for that time.


Little Mickie was put to sleep Monday afternoon. She had a slipped disc in her spine and has had trouble walking for quite a while now. Over the weekend, she lost complete control of her back end and could no longer walk. Shortly after, she lost all bladder function. She could no longer pee. In other words, if she was not put to sleep, her bladder would explode. I couldn't be there this time. My girls and I went over to my parents' house right beforehand and said goodbye to her. The girls did not know what was going to happen, I just reminded them that Mickie was very old and very sick, and that they should probably spend some extra time with her and give her extra love because she probably would not be around much longer. Dilana understood, we had talked about this before because of Mickie's age and health problems. I spent extra time playing with her, and cuddling her. Their vet was nice enough to come to the house to do it, so we were there right up until the end. When the vet got there, I had the girls give her hugs and kisses and get in the car. I held her, kissed her, and told her how much I loved her. Then we left. Part of me didn't want to leave, but the other part knew that I couldn't be there. I still remember the entire time we were at the vet's office with Corky as if I was there right now. I couldn't have another memory like that. 

I didn't tell my girls until the next morning. My mom and I decided that she would call me early in the morning and tell me that Mickie died in the night, and that is what I would tell the girls. Adia is only 20 months old so, obviously, she doesn't understand. We haven't been to my parents' since, but the next time we are there, she will notice. Mickie was her little buddy. Dilana understood though. I mean, she's only 3 [almost 4!] so she doesn't 100% understand death, but she understands that Mickie is gone and she won't be able to see her anymore. She asked tons of questions throughout the day after I told her. She didn't seem all that sad, though. However, that night when I was putting her to bed, it must have all caught up with her. I was tucking her in, and she told me that she wished she could see Mickie and started crying. It broke my heart. I stayed in there and hugged her and talked to her for a while. I made sure she knew that Mickie loved her and Adia very much, and she would always have her memory in her heart. I don't know what hurts worse, my pain for losing them, or seeing my child in so much pain. I hate to see my babies hurt. I wish I could take it away, but I can't.


I miss them very much. I am an only child, so they were my babies. I feel like a part of me has died. The faithful friends I spent my childhood with are gone. All of them. But then, I look at my girls, and I realize that, although my childhood loves may be gone, my girls are my future. I wish that Patch and Corky could have met them. I know they would have loved the girls, and the girls would have loved them. I'm grateful that my girls and Mickie got to know each other, at least. Mickie got to see that her little girl had grown up, and started a family of her own. 

Now that I have tears in my eyes, I am going to conclude this. This is why I have not been keeping up with my blog. I just haven't been in the mood to write. I struggle with depression as it is, so this has been a very tough time for me. If you have made it this far, thank you for reading. I appreciate you taking the time to let me share my feelings with you.

My mom is working on finding me a picture of the three of them together since, apparently, I do not have one, and I am going to make a nice edit of it. But, for now, here are a few pictures of them.

My Corky

Patch

Mickie and I, just before she died.

My girls, Mickie, and I.

Click to enlarge.