"Don't sit on your sister's head."
Holding tissue to 3-year-old's nose:
"Blow."
*farts*
"Wrong end."
To 3-year-old, struggling to take off her shirt:
"Please, don't hurt yourself."
"Why?"
3-year-old, kicking 1-year-old in the butt:
"Quit kicking her in the butt."
*One-year-old giggling*
"But she loves it. She loves to be kicked in the butt!"
3-year-old, talking to my husband about his karate gi:
"It's very elegant."
My dad, to my 1-year-old:
"Don't squeeze the watermelon!"
Me, to 1-year-old:
"Don't eat the TP!"
3-year-old, about 1-year-old sister:
"She's pushing me!"
"Well, don't sit on her!"
Cleaning up 1-year-old after eating:
"No! Don't rub the pudding from that hand to the clean hand!"
Conversation with 3-year-old:
"Mommy, I really want to go to Chinese."
"We had Chinese last night, we're not having it again tonight."
"No, not the Chinese restaurant, the country Chinese."
"Oh! Well, it's called China."
"Oh"
"I would like to go, too, but it is really, really far away."
1-year-old:
"Ketchup."
"No, you do not need ketchup. You have nothing that requires ketchup." [She was eating pizza and pudding]
3-year-old, yelling from the bathroom:
"Mommy! I pooped out corn!"
"Ok. You don't need to tell me about it, just wipe."
3-year-old:
"Why does it stink in here?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's you."
"No, it's not. It stinks like daddies."
3-year-old:
"I saw a lady bug in the window but it flew away. I scared it trying to feed it macaroni."
"You were trying to feed it macaroni?"
"Yes. They love beans and macaroni."
3-year-old, walking on my husband's back:
"You're jiggly, Daddy!"
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