It Glues Monkeys Together!

To 1-year-old: "Do not put stuff in your mouth that is not food!"
That's one of those things you expect to say as a parent, but still, it seems like an odd thing to say.

To 4-year-old on her day off from school: "Just  because you're home does not mean you need to run around naked."

To 4-year-old: "Your sister is not nocturnal."

Trying to teach 4-year-old to do Wii Fit:
"Walk in place."
*She starts walking*
"Walk IN PLACE, not off the board!"

Talking to my husband, after seeing something sticking out of our 1-year-old's diaper:
Me: "What does she have in her diaper?"
*He pulls out a toy otoscope*
Me: "No! You cannot put things in your diaper!"
My husband: "Well, she doesn't have pockets."

4-year-old talking to my husband. He had stopped telling her what to do on Wii Fit.: "I can't do it without you controlling me!"

4-year-old talking about Gorilla Glue: "It glues monkeys together!"

Me to my 1-year-old: "Why is it every time I turn around you have something you're not supposed to?!"

To 4-year-old: "Do not pull your sister by her diaper."

Talking to my 4-year-old, after her little sister starts crying:
"What did you do to her?!"
"I was...holding her."
"You were not holding her! Why was she crying?!"
*Trying not to giggle* "I knocked her over."