Get Your Butt out of Your Sister's Face and Quit Trying to 'Sting' Her

3-year-old:
    "Don't tickle me! It makes me pee."

3-year-old, yelling from the bathroom:
     "Mommy! I pooped out corn!"

3-year-old, combing my hair over my face:
     "You look like a black bush!"

Talking to 1-year-old, who wanted to be in the bathroom with Daddy:
     "Here, sit in the chair and you can watch Daddy shave."
     (3-year-old, on the toilet) "And you can watch me poop, Adia!"
     "No one needs to watch you poop."

1-year-old is snorting snot at me:
     "Stop it. You're not a puppy."
     " A kitty!"
     "Oh, you're a kitty?"
     "Yes."

3-year-old, getting dressed before going outside:
     "I don't want to get my belly button sunburned!"

To 3-year-old:
     "Be quiet for a minute! Everything that pops into your head does not need to be spoken."

To 1-year-old:
     "Don't poke the tent with a stick!"

To 3-year-old, "pretending to be a wasp":
     "You're not a wasp. Get your butt out of your sister's face and quit trying to 'sting' her."

To 1-year-old:
     "Don't poke me in the face with a chicken nugget!"

Talking to 3-year-old, after she burps mid-word, while talking to me:
     "Bless you."
     "I didn't burp!"
     "You didn't?"
     "No!"
     "Then what was it?"
     "A sneeze."
     "You can't sneeze mid-word."
     "Achoo."

To 1-year-old, poking me with a stick:
     "Hey! Watch where you're poking! No poking in the butt."

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