You Can't Have Your Rocking Horse in Your Crib!

Talking to 3-year-old:
     "What did you do to your bread?"
     "I put polka dots on it!"
     "The bread does not need decorating. Just eat it!"

Talking to 1-year-old:
     "Stop it! I'm trying to write. The dolly can dance somewhere else."

Talking to my 3-year-old about brushing her teeth:
     "I need to brush my moles."
     "Molars."

Talking to 3-year-old, playing with a toy car:
     "I am not a road."
     "You can be a road!"
     "I don't want to be a road. I don't enjoy being driven upon."

My 3-year-old, looking at the window:
     "You shouldn't use glass, it breaks."
     "Well, what should they be made of then?"
     "Bricks."
     "They'd be kind of hard to see out of."
     "You could take one out."
     *unable to control my giggling at this point*
     "You could put a screen on it."
Good concept, kid.

3-year-old, a few minutes after she went to the bathroom:
     "Who helped me put on my panties?"    
     "You put them on..."
     "But I was just sitting there!"

1-year-old, pointing out of her crib at bedtime:
     "Horsie"
     "You can't have your rocking horse in your crib!"
     *screaming temper tantrum*

Talking to 3-year-old:
     "I don't know what Adia is going to do when you go to school. She's going to be lonely, she's used to having you to play with."
     "You can play with her."
     "Yeah, I will."
     "Take good care of her, Mommy."